A rug was just yanked out from underneath Stability and I. What an ironic bitch life can be.
Life says, "Oh you like something enough to stick with it, do ya? Well we can't have that, now can we. I think I'll take it away for good." And then Life proceeds to laugh evilly in my face.

On a lighter note (and in attempt to move on), I got butterflies in my stomach for the first time in a while. Odd how such a little thing from someone really made my world pause for a moment. I'm sure Life will rear her ugly head again soon enough. The fucking cunt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the routine bites hard
and ambitions are low
And the resentment rides high
but emotions won't grow
And we're changing our ways,
taking different roads
Then love, love will tear us apart
again
Why is the bedroom so cold
Turned away on your side?
Is my timing that flawed,
our respect run so dry?
Yet there's still this appeal
That we've kept through
our lives
Love, love will tear us apart again

Do you cry out in your sleep
All my failings expose?
Get a taste in my mouth
As desperation takes hold
Is it something so good
Just can't function no more?
When love, love will tear us apart
again

Joy Division- Love Will Tear Us Apart
___________________________________________________

Welcome to my Brain Junk....

A rug was just yanked out from underneath Stability and I. What an ironic bitch life can be.
Life says, "Oh you like something enough to stick with it, do ya? Well we can't have that, now can we. I think I'll take it away for good." And then Life proceeds to laugh evilly in my face.

On a lighter note (and in attempt to move on), I got butterflies in my stomach for the first time in a while. Odd how such a little thing from someone really made my world pause for a moment. I'm sure Life will rear her ugly head again soon enough. The fucking cunt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the routine bites hard
and ambitions are low
And the resentment rides high
but emotions won't grow
And we're changing our ways,
taking different roads
Then love, love will tear us apart
again
Why is the bedroom so cold
Turned away on your side?
Is my timing that flawed,
our respect run so dry?
Yet there's still this appeal
That we've kept through
our lives
Love, love will tear us apart again

Do you cry out in your sleep
All my failings expose?
Get a taste in my mouth
As desperation takes hold
Is it something so good
Just can't function no more?
When love, love will tear us apart
again

Joy Division- Love Will Tear Us Apart
___________________________________________________

Welcome to my Brain Junk....

I'm such a fucking hypocrit. I'm scaring them all away. And he wants me to be happy? I think I'd be happier with him ripping my eyes out. Then at least I couldn't see the things that make me do the things I do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kiss My Ass Goodbye
Well you could kiss my ass goodbye or you could sit and watch me cry
It don't make no difference to me
'Cuz I call you slime I call you scum if this is your idea of fun
Are you fakin' misery fakin' pain and then you walk away from blame
So get under my skin or on my nerves then you'll get what you deserve
'Cuz I'm sick of the flappin' lips and the waggin' tongues
And the ears that

Now tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me
Something I don't already know

'Cuz I'm sick of the flappin' lips and the waggin' tongues
And the ears that

Now tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me
Something I don't already know

Yeah you could kiss my ass goodbye or you ccould sit and watch me cry
It don't make no difference to me
'Cuz I can take a joke and I can get a hint and now it's gone before it went
Are you fakin' misery fakin' pain it's a little publicity game

Tell me

'Cuz your little joke was a tragedy
And you can teeter on the punch line next to me
Teeter, oh teeter

Well you could kiss my ass goodbye or you could sit and watch me cry
It don't make no difference to me
'Cuz I can take a joke and I can get a hint and now it's gone before it went
Yeah, you're fakin' misery fakin' pain and then you walk away from blame
So get under my skin or on my nerves
Soon you'll get what you deserve

*^7 Year Bitch- Kiss My Ass Goodbye^*

DEDICATED TO A CERTAIN DEAD GUY. Who knows. Maybe he'll come alive to read it.
___________________________________________________

Welcome to my Brain Junk....

For once I was distracted. That's a good sign. Apparently encouraging permission was given to pursue me. Weird. Really weird. Good though. I'm going need someone on the 4th.... hopefully interests last until then at least.

I had a really good night for the first time in long time last night. Absolutely nothing was wrong with it. Unless you count lack of enough time. Besides that, everything went great. No fights, no confrontation, no jealousy (on my behalf anyway, I can't speak for another party). I hope to continue this thing that makes me happy. I'm sure I will experience it again soon. Tomorrow perhaps (hopefully). It better watch out though... I could get attached.

List of things I need right now:
Job
apt/house
furniture & appliances for above
money
stability

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love your ass
For better or worse
I love your nasty way you curse
When you sit down
It's wild how you sit
Grind your heel in the ground
..The groovy way you spit

Ooohh you look good
Ooohh you smell good
Ooohh you taste good
Like a bad girl should

When I need love
I love how you feel
When I need dough,
I love how you steal
I love your sick
Way you think
The way your perfume
Makes you stink

Ooohh you look good
Ooohh you smell good
Ooohh you taste good
Like a bad girl should

I love your boots
Your fancy clothes
Your boufant hair
Your pantyhose
I blow a gasket
For your pink jellybean
Your pic-nic basket splits my spleen

Ooohh you look good
Ooohh you smell good
Ooohh you taste good
Like a bad girl should

*^The Cramps- Like A Bad Girl Should^*
___________________________________________________

Welcome to my Brain Junk....

4...5...
Smashed

Too much has happened in the past 3 weeks to update this thing to the full. I've been up to no good. I'm sure I could piss just about everyone off with at least some of the shit I've been up to. Pissing people off is inevitable lately. I can't make up my damn mind. There are too many options being thrust upon me. My head is swimming. I'm drowning it in the liquids that make me forget.

Interpret this, bitch!

once there was a girl named heather...
...who was forever the horny loser.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i hurt myself today
to see if i still feel
i focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but i remember everything

what have i become?
my sweetest friend
everyone i know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
i will let you down
i will make you hurt

i wear this crown of shit
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
i cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
i am still right here

what have i become?
my sweetest friend
everyone i know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt
i will let you down
i will make you hurt

if i could start again
a million miles away
i would keep myself
i would find a way

^Hurt- Johnny Cash's version (NOT NIN)^___________________________________________________

Welcome to my Brain Junk....